Stop immortalizing social media "famous" people

Do better please.

I’m going to tell you for free what I’m pretty sure you already know but I’ll still tell you based on my assumptions that you don’t.

Your social media heroes are human beings too.

The very first time a follower entered my dm to express how utterly disappointed in me they were for views I held, I was saddened. I kept going back to read and re-read the messages because no stranger had ever told me they were disappointed in me. The words that stood out to me the most were “I held you in high regard and I was looking up to you but not anymore” and “I’m disappointed in you”. At that point, my father was the only person I had disappointed and I was okay with that because he had to have seen it coming, but a complete stranger? I was both thrilled and sad. She didn’t have to go off on me like that.

My second most memorable encounter with being a disappointment to someone else was when I refused to open my purse to clear off the debt of a total stranger on the internet. The person had dm’d to ask me to borrow them some money to clear off a debt with a plan to pay me back over the next few months and when I said that I didn’t have money to spare for that, the person went on to say that they weren’t surprised that I was saying no and they, in fact, expected me to say no because “that’s how you people with plenty followers behave. You make money off us and refuse to help us when we ask. Without us, you would not be where you are”. This was funny to me because that person really assumed that followership = free money to spare. It was even more ridiculous because I was broke.

I shared these stories and more with most of the people in my circle and I found out that it wasn’t just me that was out here being a disappointment. Somehow, we had been put on different pedestals we didn’t quite ask for.

You see, putting people on such pedestals makes you think that they’re above mistakes. You create a reality of them in your head that is absolutely different from what their reality is and by doing so, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment without even realizing it.

When you find yourself wishing that you were living the life that person is living or portraying or you find yourself trying to copy someone else’s life without knowing the kind of struggles that happen behind the scenes, take a step back and ask yourself if that is what your purpose on earth is because like you, these people are human beings and human beings generally love to show the beautiful part of their lives. It is what it is.

This also applies to your “relationship goals”. Remove people’s relationships from that pedestal and focus on yourself and your partner in the way you know how to. The pressure to be like people other than yourself is killing my people and somehow, you extend the pressure to these people you hold in high regard. It’s stifling and I can assure you that at some point, they wouldn’t care about it anymore. They’d live life how they see it and you’ll grow to resent it if you don’t give room for them to grow.

That being said, comot me for any pedestal wey you carry me put. I’m a human being like you and I will make mistakes, some of which I would never openly admit but please realize that like you, I’m life’s student and I have found a way to remove people-pleasing from the list of my attributes. I will always put myself first if it comes to it and you should too (put yourself first, that is)

I’m done talking to you now. What’s your own plan for this week?