Women should not be sleeping
If as a young woman, you sleep at night, you're absolutely not ready for life. Men, send this to your women, I'm on your side.
It’s the weekend and you’re in your man’s house and like me, you’re a woman of virtue looking to be picked one of these days. So what do you do? You set an alarm of 5:30 am even though our adviser on the internet said 8 am is the latest you’re allowed to wake up but what is a woman of virtue if she doesn't take things the extra mile?
If you read this mail any time later than 8 am, it means you woke up late and will have to fix up because if you continue this way, there would be no wife material left for you to wear. I’m writing this mail to you at 3 am because as the senior wife material, I have made it my life mission to never sleep on weekends lest the alarm forgets to wake me up early enough. I have to practice what I preach and as a virtuous woman, these are the things I’ll be doing once I’m sure you’ve gotten this mail:
Sweep the entire house silently so my man doesn’t wake up. Like cooking, this is one life skill I have mastered because there will be times in the future when my husband and I will be so tired from working but I would still have to wake up to ensure that everywhere is clean without a spec of dirt while trying to not wake my husband up because the head of the home needs his beauty sleep. The world needs more women like me.
Prepare his food. Shall I be called a woman of great homely material if I do not put his stomach into consideration? Never! Preparing my man’s food at the dating stage will prepare me for the future. If I ever want to be a good wife, I’ll be sure to prepare my husband’s food in the wee hours of the morning while other couples snuggle up to each other in bed. I don’t even like snuggling like that, I’m just here to make a man very happy.
Wash his cars. Need I say more? I refuse for my husband to outsource such a herculean task. This is what my father prepared me for.
Try not to fall asleep. I’m not tired, why should I fall asleep knowing that the extent of my wife materialness is being tested. Because of small chores?
Sprinkle anointing oil around the house because slowly but surely, this yoke must be broken.
Kneel by his side of the bed and eulogize him with his oriki (which I would pause everything in my life to learn) until he wakes up.
I’m trying not to give away all my secrets for free so I’ll stop here for now. I don’t want you to get better at this than me, I have to guard my nuggets. I do hope you start off like me because this is how you become wife material. Go through today knowing that your sole purpose on earth is to stay awake.
Please document your routine this weekend so we can be united, okay?
Love,
Sarcasm 💜
I hope that in all of these, you don't forget to iron his church wear and everything he'll be wearing next week. A good wife must help her husband look presentable to the world
Waking up by 8:36am😂
I'll renew my wife material next week😂 or maybe when I'm no longer single😂